Congrats, you have graced the presence of a star! But not the one you might expect, while this lowly SEO Superstar can do some online wizardry, kicking a rugby ball more than 30 metres is not in my skillset just yet.

When previously working in IT tech support roles, it became a daily ordeal to have a client fall out of their chair after they had learned The Captain himself has TeamViewed in to personally fix their broken email config. I think I’ve convinced a few with “yeah mate this is my backup job when the knee stuffs out.

It’s a great ice breaker, and clearly my parents were forward thinking. Who knows, maybe I’ll even learn how to kick a ball properly one day 😂